How you decide to live your life is YOUR business.
In case no one has ever told you, you are responsible for living a happy life. Not your parents, or your teacher, or anyone else for that matter. You are ultimately responsible.
For some people that is exciting, because that means the shackles can come off and the limiting beliefs can be dropped. For other people, this is some scary sh*t. With uncertainty and doubt creeping in.
Pardon me for being blunt and using profane language, but someone has to say it. Besides, it's me you're talking to.
Nevertheless, I was one of those people that was excited and scared at the same damn time. Talk about feeling overwhelmed and crazy.
But once I really let it sank in that I am responsible for my life I began to make real changes to take charge of my life so that I can live on my own terms, and I want to share these with you today.
Below are five ways you can live life on your own terms. Let me note however that there is so much more you can do to take charge of your life, but these are good places to start if you do not know where to begin.
See for yourself.
Let's begin:
The following are listed in no particular ranking order. Just some ideas to get U going forward.
1. Plan on Purpose
Ok! Planning is a crucial step that so many people skip, but this is not to be skipped. Actually, a lot of wealthy and successful people know this.
Benjamin Franklin summed it up nicely when he said:
"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."
So either way, some sort of planning is occurring, but it's up to you to determine if you want to be purposeful about it.
Think about the many choices you had to make so far in your life. Maybe as a high school student, you had a goal of going to college. But what good is a goal if you do not have a plan to get there?
What about that dream job? Or that dream home? Or that dream family vacation? Hope you have a plan.
It's just a dream until you put a plan together with practical steps to progress you towards any goal, in this case of the above example going to college. Planning on when to take entrance exams, and fill out college applications, schedule college visits, writing entrance essays, or gathering recommendations are all part of the plan.
As an adult, its even more important, because if you are not being intentional about how you plan to achieve any goal you set, albeit leaving a legacy, financial security for your family, personal success or business goal, securing the bag - if you are not planning on purpose, someone else is planning your life for you.
And that my friend is not living on your own terms.
So be intentional about how and when you plan. Don't let everything else in life, including other people, do the planning for you. Be purposeful.
2. Love on yourself
I'll say it again and a lil louder for the people in the back... LOVE ON YOURSELF!!
Self-love is the best love and I stand by that statement. Imagine how hard it must be to spread love when you have none to give yourself.
There are many ways that you can show yourself self-love. Taking some time to do things that you enjoy like working on projects that you are excited about, learning a new skill or brushing up on an old one, reading a good book, surrounding yourself with loved ones or visiting your favorite quiet spot. All of this is beneficial for you.
Self-care is another example. Pampering yourself with a spa day or simply spending some alone time to decompress can all help you to increase the amount of love you have for yourself.
Remember... Good Vibes Only!
All of these things are good for you. Expose yourself to more love. Get creative. I know it may sound weird or corny, but that does not mean it's not important. If that were true, we wouldn't work so hard to give love away to other people.
Self-love also helps you build confidence too.
3. Build Confidence
Maxwell Maltz, the author of Psycho-Cybernetics said it best, "Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand on the brakes."
Consider this quote for a moment. How easy is it to drive, or even ride a bike, while holding the brakes? How far would you actually get? How long would it actually take to get there? What would you damage in the process of pressing the gas and the brakes at the same time?
Unfortunately, confidence can't be obtained from a vitamin (if only it were that easy). Confidence is built over time. And the more confident you are, the better you feel about life in general.
You move through life differently.
Every now and again, we can all use confidence boosters, and if you want to live life on your own terms, then you must make a habit out of building your self-confidence.
Building self-confidence takes time, however, it does not mean it is too late.
Here are a few tips for building your confidence:
Practicing visualizations and saying affirmations that inspire you daily are great boosters. A plus would be to do this while looking at yourself in the mirror.
Another strategy is to do something that scares the living shit out of you (something that does not pose a threat to your life of course), like recording that live video or having that difficult conversation to improve a relationship.
Again, get creative and to make it less stressful, find a way to have fun as you build this skill. It will help you grow in the long run. Trust me.
4. Travel like a Rockstar
This is one of my favorite subjects because I believe people should travel the world more often if not only for the amount of fun it is.
Now I don't just mean stay-cations either, although I advocate for these as they are a way to relax and get some much-needed self-care in (love on yourself).
But no I mean travel. Take a road trip. Hop on a flight to someplace you've always wanted to go. I'm all for the 'Catchin Flights Not Feelings' attitude of millennials and the movement that's poppin.
A lot of elderly folks I talk to that know how much I love to travel always encourages seeing the world and we can imagine why they would advise it.
We don't have to wait. Just find a way.
In case you need more evidence, there are many benefits to health that tapping into your inner explorer has to offer such as, it reduces and manages stress levels to include negative emotions, enhances creativity, strengthens relationships and so much more.
Much of this I know from personal experience.
Travel also opens your mind to learning new cultures which makes you more culturally aware. You meet new people expanding your network, and if you're an international traveler then you're building a global network of friends and acquaintances.
Speaking of confidence, travel is a nice confidence booster as you get to reinvent yourself while on a vacation too ;).
Reminds me of when Stella got her groove back and so can U! So get your passport and travel Baby.
5. Live Intentionally
All in all, the common ingredient among each of these is that in order for you to live life on your own terms you must be intentional.
According to dictionary.com intent has several definitions of which two stand out for the purpose of this point. They are:
1. Law. the state of a person's mind that directs his or her actions toward a specific object.
2. meaning or significance.
with synonyms such as purpose, aim, plot or plan.
I take that to mean being intentional is when a person directs his or her mind and actions towards a specific object of significance with a purpose, aim, plot and plan.
Think about how much more you could get accomplished if instead of going through life letting things just happen to you, always in a reactive state, that you take charge and move more purposeful towards the things you truly desire.
Really stop and think!!! (I'll wait)...
This is the second time being intentional has come up, which goes to show you just how important it is.
So live intentionally and on your own terms because it is so much more difficult to actually enjoy life being on autopilot, or rather, living in autopilot.
This is why one of my mantras is #LiveOnPurpose
So just to recap...
Living life on your own terms does not have to be hard. It may seem that way at first because you may have been on autopilot for so long.
But I shared five ways that you can go about doing so right now with exactly what you have right now because you deserve to live a happier more fulfilling life, filled with good memories, great connections, joy, and satisfaction, Right Now.
Plan on purpose, show yourself some love, build that confidence, travel like a rockstar, and live intentionally.
My bonus tip and probably the number one thing for you to always remember is to Just BeU.
Life is for the living. My friend, I want you to Live.
What are some other ways you can live life on your own terms?
Leave me a comment and let's help one another grow!
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